Upon returning from Spain I found myself apologizing to people who urged me to tell them how my year was and telling them that I really could not feasibly tell them how much the year meant to me, how much it changed me, how much I saw and did and learned, and if I tried it would no doubt be at the expense of any original sounding description. My constant thought was “Wow I sound like a hallmark card!” Everything that I thought to say to describe my year came out sounding remarkably trite. But what I have come to realize after a couple of months being back in California is that despite the hackneyed timbre of my statements about my study abroad experience what I am feeling is cliché for a reason: it is the tremendous growth of self that is achieved by many people before me who have stepped out of their comfortable cultures and lived in a foreign country for a substantial length of time. But what is even more important is that I have realized that though the words I use to describe these feelings can sound faded and over-used, the feelings themselves are indeed original and novel because they are mine alone, they are not transferable through speech, through reading, or even through pictures, but only can be gained through personal experience.
Due to this abundance of people before me saying how their lives changed from studying abroad I left the country with a myriad of expectations about how I would find the year. I thought it would change my perception of the world, of myself, and of life itself. And it did. What I did not and could not expect, however, was the way in which these perceptions would change and the gravity of those changes that took place. I went to Spain to study literature and learn about the country in which the very authors I studied lived and wrote and while I did truly learn about the country in a depth which I never could have expected in the classroom I also learned how I can take that understanding and apply it to almost everything I learn. History is not just facts, it is the story of how we got where we are today and that story means everything to who we are and how we perceive the world and it is different for each person and each place. I left with the idea that despite cultural differences every person is more or less the same across the world. Instead I found that while we do all have many things in common there are fundamental differences between people such as values and lifestyles that change from place to place. From this I was able to see that it is really important to try to appreciate these differences and learn more about them rather than try to put everyone under a generalization. One of the most important things that happened was that I left with ten years of learning Spanish under my belt and I expected to be able to jump into fluency right away but instead found that the language I was able to read and write and use to converse in a scholastic situation was not anything close to the language I needed to interact on a day to day basis and I really did not feel fully comfortable with my Spanish until after having lived in Granada more than eight months. When before I would have to think through my words and stare intently in concentration to understand the Spanish around me now I open my mouth and without thinking can hold an easily flowing conversation without extra exertion.
After the first semester I felt as though I knew the city and I knew the culture and although I was looking forward to staying a semester longer I thought that it would not be all that bad to be going home then to return to my family and the comforts I had at home but what I did not realize was that although I had a comprehensive understanding of Granada from a traveler’s point of view I had no idea what it meant to truly live there. By the end of the year I did not just feel like I understood the culture and the city and the people there, I felt like I was a part of it. The cobbled stones that had charmed me at the beginning became the streets that I proudly walked with a sense of ownership and belonging, the once intriguing sights and smells of Granada were now signs of home and comfort.
When in Spain I found that the things I missed the most about America were the people and the food and the efficient lifestyle, now that I am back I find that I again miss the people and the food and this time the relaxed tranquil lifestyle. But now and forever I carry the possibility of both lifestyles with me and can choose how to live my own life somewhere in the middle of the two extremes, with frequent emails to the people I miss and attempts to cook the foods of both cultures in my own kitchen.
One of my favorite words in Spanish would have to be imprescindible, essential. That is how I feel about this year abroad. It has been imprescindible to who I am now and who I want to be. I would fully recommend studying abroad to anyone who has the chance and I would stress that in order to really take the experience to heart a full year abroad, also, is imprescindible.